Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
by thegirl20
Summary: Beca notices something about Aubrey's change of heart.


"You can do this, Mitchell. You can talk to her like you're just both two normal people. She is _not_ going to turn you to stone just by looking at you. Why are you talking to yourself like you're some lame self-help CD? Get a grip, woman."

Beca shakes her head as she climbs the last few stairs to the apartment. She's been here once before with Chloe, so she knows which door to approach, but still she lingers a little in the hallway before making her feet move in the desired direction. Even before she reaches the door, she can hear a dull thump of music from inside. She clears her throat and rings the doorbell.

The music comes to an abrupt halt a few seconds before the door opens to reveal Aubrey, dressed in workout clothes, her face glowing with perspiration. She looks more human like this than when she's perfectly made up. Though, Beca ponders, when you've seen someone with vomit encrusted on their face and clothes, that kind of breaks the illusion of perfection.

"Beca!" Having spent a fair amount of time with Aubrey these past few months, Beca is starting to recognise her expressions. And she's fairly sure this one signals panic. "Uh, Chloe's not here right now. She's at the library. She has a pa-"

"Paper to finish for Russian Lit, I know," Beca assures her. "That's uh, actually the reason I'm here."

"You're here because of Chloe's paper?" Aubrey's forehead is crinkled in the centre, similar to how it looks whenever Lily speaks or anyone suggests performing a song that came out after 1997.

"No, I'm here because I knew she _wouldn't_ be here," Beca clarifies. Although the clarification only deepens the furrows on Aubrey's forehead. Then her eyes widen in what appears to be terror. Beca sighs. "Cool it, stud, I'm not here to seduce you. Can I come in?"

Caught somewhere between relief and confusion, Aubrey steps aside and lets her enter. It's only after the door closes behind her that she hears a huff of indignation followed by Aubrey muttering "Not like you _could_ have."

Beca catches herself before she says something in return; she's here for a purpose after all. She perches on the arm of the couch and waits for Aubrey to take a seat in the armchair opposite. There's a yoga mat set up on the floor and a water bottle sitting on the coffee table.

"So, I was thinking about the number for nationals," Beca begins, so as not to spook Aubrey too early. "You know, who takes what part, who the soloists should be, that kinda thing."

Aubrey is nodding along, obviously keen to be involved in this process. Beca knows that handing over the pitch pipe and, therefore, captaincy of the Bellas, was not an easy choice for Aubrey to make and she is definitely gonna make use of her experience and knowledge to put the number and the routine together. But not tonight.

"And I was thinking about the girls' voices and it struck me that, until you gave _Turn the Beat Around_ to Amy...Chloe was pretty much the only soloist we had."

It's hard to tell under the workout glow, but she's pretty sure Aubrey's cheeks flush a little deeper. Her shoulders definitely straighten and her jaw sets. "Chloe's the best singer." She shrugs, but it's too stiff to be casual. "It's not uncommon for a group to have a main singer. Bumper, for example, always takes the lead on Treble numbers."

Beca tilts her head to the side. "Chloe's a great singer, for sure," she agrees. "She has a really nice voice...but so do the other girls."

Standing up, Aubrey crosses her arms over her chest. "Look, if this is a complaint about me choosing Amy over you to solo then you really shou-"

"It's nothing to do with me, or Amy," Beca assures her, standing too and putting her hands up. "Like I said, it just hit me that Chloe had all the solos, is all."

"And your point is?" Aubrey demands, the flush from her face now creeping down her neck and chest. Beca watches as she drops a hand to her stomach, a nervous gesture she's noticed more than once from the other girl.

"My point is that up until pretty recently I thought you were a selfish control freak who'd do anything to win this stupid acapella competition-"

"Uh, I'm offended on so many different levels right now," Aubrey puts in, but Beca ignores her to continue with her realisation.

"-but that's not it, is it?" she asks. "You were doing it for her."

For a moment, she thinks Aubrey's going to deny it. Her eyes are pure green fury and the hand at her stomach has become a fist, which Beca really hopes isn't about to connect with her face. But then Aubrey's lower lip trembles and she turns away.

"Chloe deserves to be a champion." The words are so quiet, Beca barely hears them. She takes a few steps towards the blonde, but doesn't reply. "Alice was always a complete bitch to Chloe. Well, she was a complete bitch to everybody, but Chloe took the brunt of it most of the time." She lifts her shoulders and lets them drop. "I tried to shield her, but Alice really had it in for her for some reason." She lets out a bitter laugh. "That just goes to show what a horrible, twisted person Alice was. I mean, who could hate Chloe?"

"She's a literal ball of sunshine," Beca agrees. "She's exhausting, and annoyingly persistent...but not in any way hateable."

"Right?" Aubrey says, turning around. Fresh tear tracks mar her beautiful features. Although, Beca thinks, she even _cries_ prettily. "Chloe was _so_ excited to make it to nationals. It kinda made up for all the shit Alice had put us through, you know?"

Beca presses her lips together in an effort not to point out all the shit _Aubrey_ has put them through this year. She hopes it looks like a smile.

"We almost made it," Aubrey continues. "And then...well, you know what happened next. I ruined everything." More tears spill over her lashes and fall in perfect torrents down her cheeks. If Beca had put a little more forethought into this plan, she might've brought someone who could do the comfort thing with her for just such an eventuality.

"Aubrey," she says, reaching out to awkwardly pat her arm. "I'm _sure_ Chloe doesn't blame y-"

" _I_ blame me, Beca," Aubrey states, with a quiet intensity that's scarier than her drill sergeant yelling. "I ruined Chloe's chance to be a champion and this year...I just wanted to give her that chance back."

"By recreating what you think you ruined?" Beca asks.

Aubrey shrugs and gives half a nod. "I know you hated everything about what we did, and you made fun of me for it, but none of it was actually mine. I didn't pick the songs, I didn't make up the choreography. It was all Alice's."

"Yeah," Beca says. "I think that was the problem. You were trying to make something fit that didn't belong to any of us. Not even you."

Sitting back down in the armchair, Aubrey lets out a shuddering sigh. "I know," she whispers. "But I didn't...I couldn't…" She looks up at Beca. "I'm not like you. I'm not even like _Alice_. I can't... _create_ things out of nothing." She shrugs. "I can take a song and break it down into parts and I can make sure people know what they need to do. But I can't...I don't have that _thing_ that you have." She looks away. "Chloe knew you had it the first time she heard you sing. She knew we needed you but I…." Another sigh. "I knew we needed you too. But I wanted to be...to be the one who did this for Chloe."

When Beca came over to confront Aubrey with her suspicions, she didn't expect this level of confession, but it makes her next question easier.

"How long have you been in love with her?"

This time, when Aubrey looks up at her, there's no fight in her eyes, no wall to overcome. "Since she stepped on my toes and spilled her drink on me at the first college party I ever went to."

Beca lifts an eyebrow. "Love at first sight, huh?"

"Oh, no," Aubrey says, shaking her head. "I'd seen her before that. I saw her when she was moving into her dorm. She was down the hall from me and her family is _not_ quiet. They caused quite a stir." Her eyes and mouth grow soft as she's speaking about the memory and she lets out a little laugh. "I'd never _seen_ anyone make such a big deal about saying goodbye before." She clears her throat. "My dad's more of a pat on the shoulder and firm nod kind of a guy."

"Yeah," Beca says. She's heard enough of Aubrey's dad's sayings to determine that he's not a touchy feely type. "So when'd she spill her drink on you?"

"It was about a week later," Aubrey says, blinking rapidly. "My roommate, who was _awful_ by the way, and had dropped out by Thanksgiving, persuaded me to go to some frat party. Which was also awful and I spent most of the night standing in the hallway trying not to get roofied."

"So, like every frat party ever," Beca says, with a smile, nodding for Aubrey to continue.

"And then this blur of red hair and energy came stumbling out of a doorway, straight toward me, stepped on my toes, poured her drink down my shirt and then looked at me with the biggest, bluest eyes I'd ever seen…" Aubrey turns to Beca with a sad smile. "And that was that."

Beca takes a seat on the couch. "Does she know?" She's pretty sure she knows the answer, but asks anyway.

Aubrey physically recoils from the question. "Oh my God, of course not! Nobody knows. I've never even said it out loud before!" She squints at Beca. "Come to think of it, how did _you_ know?"

"I...didn't. Not until yesterday, at least," Beca admits. "Yesterday, you could barely bring yourself to ask me to stay in that auditorium. You sure as hell couldn't bring yourself to apologise to me." Beca tilts her head and gives Aubrey a smirk. "Not until Chloe got upset about her throat. That was what made up your mind. That's when you gave me the pitch pipe. Or, you know, tossed it into a pool of vomit."

"And from that you deduced that I was in love with Chloe?" Aubrey asks, one perfect eyebrow creeping up her forehead. "That seems like a little bit of a jump."

"Not right away," Beca says. "Like I said, I was thinking back over some stuff and the pieces started to fall into place. The solos, the unwillingness to stray from last year's set, the daggers you stared at me every time she even glanced in my direction…"

"I did _not_!" Aubrey protests.

"Listen, I get it," Beca assures her. "The girl you're madly in love with pretty much pounced on me naked in the shower and then _made_ you accept me into the Bellas. I can see why you'd be jealous."

"So, is there a point to any of this?" Aubrey asks. "Or did you just come here to demonstrate how brilliant a detective you are?"

Beca rolls her eyes. "No, Captain Dumbass, I'm here to ask why the hell you haven't told Chloe about this? Why you were willing to let everyone think you were some crazed control freak who wanted to win at any cost? When what you were _really_ doing was trying to get Chloe her championship."

Aubrey actually looks stunned by the question; as if she's never even _contemplated_ telling Chloe about any of this. "Beca, I don't...I don't expect Chloe to return my feelings," she says, slowly. "I didn't do any of it because I thought she'd run into my arms after we won nationals and declare her undying love for me." She shakes her head. "I just wanted her to be happy. And, with you in charge, maybe that'll happen." The smile on her face is the saddest thing Beca's ever seen. "That's all I want. And then I'll graduate and...maybe then I can move on."

"Jesus, Aubrey," Beca groans. "I've seen you make grown women cry because they were a semi-tone off their pitch. I have personally quaked in my boots under your disapproving glare. You're telling me you're scared to say some words to _Chloe_ of all people?"

"I didn't say I was _scared_ ," Aubrey protests, immediately. "I just don't see the point in setting myself up for inevitable disappointment, that's all."

"That sounds pretty like being scared to me." Beca realises that she's being kinda hypocritical right now. There's a dumb boy that she _might_ have feelings for and she hasn't exactly been forthcoming with him. But that's for later.

"I am _no_ -"

Aubrey's indignant response is cut off by the sound of the front door opening. Both girls freeze because the only other person in possession of a key is-

"Hey, it's me." The door closes. "I couldn't concentrate on my paper. I just keep thinking about how much ass we're gonna kick at nationals." Shoes are kicked off in the hallway, then footsteps continue.

Aubrey launches herself at Beca, yanking her up by the arm and over to a set of shelves. "Not one _word_ , Mitchell," she hisses, just before Chloe arrives at the living room door.

"Oh, hey Chlo," Aubrey says, casually. "Beca just came over to look at our CDs for inspiration."

Chloe raises an eyebrow, looking to Beca. "You did?"

"Mostly yours," Beca says, earning a glare.

"Cool. Well I have some more in m-...Bree have you been _crying_?" Chloe rushes forward, taking hold of Aubrey's arm and turning her around.

"What? Crying? No, I- of course not!" Aubrey babbles, her hand flying to her cheek as if to wipe away the evidence. "I was working out. It's sweat. Crying. God, Chloe, don't be... I...will just go and freshen up."

Beca and Chloe watch while Aubrey practically sprints out of the room. Chloe turns to Beca. "Okay, what's going on?"

"Don't ask me," Beca says, which feels a little better than 'I don't know'.

"But I _am_ asking you," Chloe persists, with a glance over her shoulder before turning her eyes back to Beca. They're hard and accusatory and Beca takes a step backwards. "I come home and she's been crying and you're here. What am I supposed to think?"

"I...literally have no idea what you're thinking right now," Beca admits.

"Do you _know_ how hard it was for her to give you that damn pitch pipe?" Chloe's whisper is the harshest tone Beca's ever heard her use. "And now whatever's going on...whatever you did is j-"

"What _I_ did?" Beca whispers back, indignant. "I didn't _do_ anything." Not _strictly_ true. She was definitely the catalyst for the minor emotional breakdown Aubrey had. But that had way more to do with repression than with Beca.

"Then what is going on?" Chloe demands, hands on hips.

"We were just talking, that's all that was going on, I swear," Beca says, starting to wish she'd done all this via text with Aubrey.

"Why are you whispering?"

Chloe spins around and Aubrey comes into view, her eyes immediately seeking out Beca's. "Did you _tell_ her?"

"I told her _nothing!"_ Beca yells.

"What are you not telling me?" Chloe demands, looking between them.

Aubrey, clearly realising that Beca is in fact cool enough to keep her stupid crush secret, is contrite. She gives Beca a tiny smile before turning her attention to Chloe. "Nothing, Chlo. It's nothing important."

Beca presses her lips together to keep from screaming something ridiculous like 'Your feelings _are_ important dummy!'. Chloe looks from one to the other and then her face changes, her eyes growing impossibly larger.

"Are...are the two of y…" She covers her mouth, shaking her head. "Oh my God. I can't believe I didn't see it before." She's walking backwards. "All that tension...all that…" She turns and flees just as Beca realises what she's referring to.

"Chloe, no," she tries, but Chloe's bedroom door has already slammed closed.

"Chloe!" Aubrey turns to Beca. "What the hell is she talking about?"

"Aubrey," Beca sighs. "She thinks we're sleeping together."

"She thinks…" Aubrey trails off, frowning. "Wait. We, as in, you and me?"

Beca tries not to be offended by the utter horror that passes over Aubrey's face. She points in the direction of the bedrooms. "Go in there and talk to her. Now," she commands. "I don't know if you noticed, but that was not a happy reaction." Off Aubrey's blank stare, she rolls her eyes. "She's jealous, Aubrey."

"She is?" Aubrey's voice is a breathy whisper as she turns to look into the hallway. When she turns back, she's biting her lip. "She's probably jealous of _me_."

"Ugh." Beca shoves Aubrey. "Dude. I'm not interested in sleeping with either of you. I have, unfortunately, sort of fallen for someone you're gonna yell at me for."

"I knew it!" Aubrey hisses, pointing at Beca. "I _knew_ you had the hots for that Treble."

"You can set the wolves on me tomorrow," Beca says, shoving Aubrey until she starts walking. "Go and speak to Chloe. Go take your chance."

"What do I say?" Aubrey whispers.

"Whatever comes into your head. Just try not to puke on her." Aubrey turns to glare at her and Beca winks. "Lightening the mood." They're now outside Chloe's bedroom door. Beca points over her shoulder with her thumb. "So, I'm gonna go and leave you to it. I really don't think you need an audience for this but...you know...let me know how it goes."

Aubrey shakes her head. "I...I can't-"

"Yes," Beca says, her voice firm. "You can. I'm pretty sure there's nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it. In a few days you're gonna step onto a stage where you experienced the most humiliating moment of your life. You picked yourself up after that and you kept going. And you did it all for _her_. So finish it. Go in there and tell her how you feel."

Aubrey lets out a shaky breath and stares at Beca for a long, drawn out moment and Beca thinks she's going to fold. But then she stands up straighter, shoulders back, and nods. "Okay. I'll do it."

Beca grins and salutes, walking backwards to the door. "Go get her, Captain."

She lets herself out just as Aubrey knocks on the door.

* * *

It's several hours later when she receives a text from Chloe. It's a picture of the two of them, Aubrey asleep on Chloe's naked shoulder, and Chloe grinning at the camera with kiss swollen lips.

She smiles and puts her headphones back on, closing her eyes and letting Simple Minds take over her thoughts. If Aubrey can be brave, then so can she. And she has the Bellas and the Breakfast Club to help her out.


End file.
